Here we are again, it feels like deja vu. After two weeks of him back at work, I thought it was time to bring everything to a head again.
WARNING, THE FOLLOWING HAS LITTLE HUMOUR AND IS MOSTLY A GOOD FUCKING MOAN…ENJOY!
You see I have plans that I have not shared with him. Firstly, I am going away for 3 weeks and I intend to buy a camper van to do it in, and all in the next few weeks with a bit of luck (like finding a suitable camper van I can afford). It occurred to me that visiting the kids down in London would be a lot easier rather than bunking down on that lumpy sofa…Oh…and the dog.
So…I said “We need to talk” he said “Not now, but I bet its not good for me” I said, “fraid not, come and talk to me about it”. Without going into details cos its the usual rah rah rah shit. But, in a nutshell, I am a bad person because I cannot see the improvements he has made after his therapy, and that I should at least try and make the relationship work. I should understand that he was not ‘right’ during all that time (over 10 years) and I can surely see how ‘we’ can have a great future together, etc. (I refer you to my earlier blog posts). So nothing has changed in his head in 8 months except that he is not crying any more.
He gets into this really odd fantasy of me being such a terrible uncaring and selfish person who is throwing all this great stuff away. Then, he says that I have a problem with him being a lorry driver. Well…what a surprise he twisted that one in! I guess it was inevitable that he would though, and to quote one of my offspring, “he sees himself as a working class hero”. Oh don’t he just…the truth is, I always said, “get a Monday to Friday lorry driver job and we can all be happy”…but nah, remember, not a single job application in 8 years. Oh and then we have, its alright for me with my well paid job, blah blah blah. Sorry, but getting a PhD as a single parent and working through 10 years of casualised contracts in HE whilst being the SOLE or main earner throughout was not exactly easy.
Besides, I have never been a snob about what someone does for a living, provided they are content and don’t make everyones life a misery complaining about it. If they are not happy, then I think they should take opportunities to improve their life. A happy lorry driver is a better person than a miserable banker.
We quickly got on to money. He seems to think that because I said many years ago that I would never rip him off, means that I am prepared to rip myself off. He actually said that he should leave with the same standing he had when he came in. i.e House and all furniture, car, harley davidson etc. This means that in effect, he would have lived here all those years for free! Fuck Off!
Also, what he fails to recognise, is that those sort of arrangements are rather dependent on BOTH people pulling their share of the heavy lifting along the way…I guess paying £350 per month for everything, including food and mobile phone for 8 years, with the odd contribution to maintenance here and there is a fair share? Not forgetting the 3 years of nothing, not even dole, the Barking Rabbit Debts I paid, the 2 jobs I had whilst he lay on the sofa…the shit he gave me for taking my kids on holiday…once…sorta thing.
He muttered something about some legal stuff to do with beneficial interest. I checked it out on the Shelter website.
I think he feels he can gain something from me under the bit about Constructive Trust, although I think the kids would not necessarily agree that he gave up his house and career and looked after them whilst I went to work…but that is for another time. Still, I have offered him a settlement, but he thinks that is an insult and wants 4 times as much.
So here we are. I spent all evening from about 9.30pm in my room because I really don’t want to sit in the lounge pretending to watch telly, so I sat on my bed listening to a nice little Sci-Fi Pocast called ‘Star Tripper’ from the clever people at Whisperforge
Sara's Narcissus and Other Stories 